My New Life

by

Alan L. Clarke

During my childhood, I never received any significant religious training other than a rare trip to a nearby Methodist church. The services were designed for adults and I never perceived any benefit from the uninspiring rituals. When attending college, I encountered several evangelistic Christians for the first time but was uncomfortable when they questioned me since I had absolutely no knowledge of  the Bible. Actually, I was uncomfortable with all college students in general because throughout my life I felt that I was about three years behind in my emotional and psychological development.  When asked how one gets into heaven,  I learned that the best answer to appear knowledgeable was to say, "Believe in Jesus who died on the cross for your sins."  If anyone probed me more than this I would try to avoid them at any cost. During my second year I began associating with the wrong crowd and diverted from the moral teachings of my father.  I caused my parents much anxiety as I lived only to please myself, disregarding all authority.  My grades were so low that the university put me on probation. My father thought perhaps I was listening to too much music and insisted I leave my stereo at home for the second semester.  I disagreed with him and he was forced to confiscate my automobile keys until I unpacked the stereo from my possessions.  I defiantly started the engine anyway by connecting three wires on the ignition switch and drove back to school thinking it was time to sever my parent's relationship.  My concentration was so badly impaired for academic studies that I soon dropped out and returned home humbled.  My father presented me with a list of strict rules to abide by if I were to live at home. Instead, I lived as close to the edge as possible.  After working on a miserable refrigerator assembly line for a period of four months, I decided I had better complete my education.  Upon returning to school, my mother presented me a gift which was a large paper back book wrapped in cellophane.  A person who lived across the hall in my dormitory had this same book entitled The Way and gave it a positive recommendation by saying, "Clarke, you ought to read this book."  One evening after classes, I opened my new gift and discovered to my surprise that it was an easy-to-understand version of the Bible.  I remember my father once saying that everyone should read through the Bible at least once since it was such an important book.  I decided to start from the beginning and critique it.  I underlined hypocrisies such as Abraham having more that one wife and Lot's daughters having sex with him.  The book however was the most fascinating literature I had ever read.  I looked forward to relaxing in my easy chair each evening and completed reading the book of Genesis.  Reading the Prophets were less interesting and I took someone's advice to read the New Testament.  The fascination resumed and I began to feel allied to the character of Jesus.  I was completely awed by Jesus'  wisdom and mastery over every matter, especially when He confronted the Pharisees.  I read to my roommate excitedly how Jesus crushed their deceit when they asked him if it was right to pay taxes to Caesar.  My roommate felt alienated from me since he was living riotously and I was reading the Bible each evening.  I proceeded to the Gospel of John and something new impressed upon me.   I felt Jesus was inferring his powers extended into the present when he promised an eternal home, access to the Father, and a Comforting Spirit who would live inside the believer.  I fell in love with this seemingly life-like Bible character and tried to align myself better with his teachings by following his commandments. The same evening after reading John, chapter 14, my roommate told me how he was frustrated over his failing relationship with his girlfriend.  I prayed in my mind that somehow he would receive sound moral advice to improve his life.  I left the room to take a shower and while closing my eyes to shampoo my hair, my mind was filled with thoughts in a way I had never experienced before. I somehow knew all the answers to my roommates’ problems.  In addition, I thought for the first time that people were blinded to themselves and truth because of prideful ego.  I returned to the room excitedly, and decided to tell my roommate everything I had learned while in the shower. Breaking through the fear of being rejected, I described in detail his relationship problem.  How much he received was questionable, but I was excited because I had never spoken so boldly and knowledgeably on any subject.  When he left the room, I then realized that my prayer for someone to speak to him had been answered.  I was the answer!  Where was I getting all this wisdom?  I decided to read John, chapter 14 again before going to bed and came upon Jesus' words, "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said to you."  This verse was the only explanation for what was happening to me.  Jesus' promise was for now and was real!  As a new believer, I felt like I was walking on cloud nine everywhere I went.  I understood people for the first time.  I understood myself and through His help overcame numerous problems and sins.  I developed a loving relationship with my parents.  I achieved the honor role every semester until graduation.  I constantly witnessed to friends, relatives and strangers about Jesus' miracle working power.  My parents and three brothers all became believers within four years.  I joined a church. For years, as an adult, I feared distant traveling, but God helped me overcome this also and I journeyed to Uzbekistan to teach English. I married one of my students, a young Russian believer. I am trusting Him daily and for my future.  Time would fail if I were to tell of all the miraculous experiences, lessons, hardships and blessings in the last thirty years.  But now I can truly say for myself, "I Believe in Jesus who died on the cross for my sins."